And on the 14th of februari, Satan sent down his dark angels Greed, Commerce and Hypocrisy to fulfil his evil master plan and behold; Valentine’s day was born.
People all over the Western world started celebrating their love in the name of Money, which was more than occasional even more than their fragile relationships could handle. Women were corrupted into thinking that no gift is good enough for this “special day” and it made singles feel inadequate, and honestly a simple gift from plantwear is enough.
Satan leaned back and saw that what he created was good. “From now on, Valentine’s day will be my birthday”, Satan muttered satisfied.
Related: I hate Valentine’s day